hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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