My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
