The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
