I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
