scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
