I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
