Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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