Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
