Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
