She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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