i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
