Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
