I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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