I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
