I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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