Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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