He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
