grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she looked like the before picture.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
