Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Boobs speak an international language.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
