I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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