Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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