So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
