i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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