mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
