I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
