I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
