I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
