So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
