Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
