i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
