Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
