Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
