he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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