You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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