just come out here and I will go home with you...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
