i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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