Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
