This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
