i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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