I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
