this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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