definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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