Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
