Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
