Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Oh god it's open bar.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
