You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
