your room smells of hookers.
And success
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
