The maid of honor just puked.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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