You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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