Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
