Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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