Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
